Let go - it's time to ditch guilt this holiday season!

Guilt—the five-letter word many of us know all too well. In fact, most people experience guilt at some point, and it often intensifies around the holidays. But what does guilt actually mean? Cambridge Dictionary defines guilt as “a feeling of worry or unhappiness that you have because you have done something wrong, such as causing harm to another person.”¹ But guilt isn’t always tied to real harm. Many people feel guilty simply because they believe they’ve done something wrong—even if no one else has noticed or been affected.

Guilt can serve a useful purpose. It can prompt us to reflect, apologise, and repair relationships, helping us act more responsibly within society.² At the same time, guilt has a tendency to snowball—especially during the holiday season—fuelled by comparison, pressure, and the often-unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and others.

Guilt during the holidays

Guilt can surface in many different ways during the holidays. From money worries and family expectations to social pressure and comparison, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when demands seem to come from all directions. Below are some of the most common reasons guilt tends to show up during the festive season—

Money-related – Guilt can arise from not being able to afford the gifts, trips, or experiences others may expect—or from spending more than feels comfortable and worrying about the impact later.
Family obligations – Balancing multiple family members, events, and expectations can be challenging. Guilt often shows up when you feel pressured to attend gatherings you don’t want to—or simply can’t—because of time, energy, or other commitments.
Work-related – When work demands limit your ability to take time off, guilt can creep in—whether it’s about missing time with loved ones or worrying that colleagues will be overstretched in your absence.
Social pressure and comparison – This is a major source of holiday guilt. Pressure from family or friends to maintain traditions, spend money, or “do things a certain way” can feel overwhelming. Comparison—especially around gifts, celebrations, or lifestyles—can intensify guilt, particularly when children are involved.
Overindulgence – From food and drink to spending and socialising, the festive season often encourages excess. Guilt can follow when limits are pushed or routines go out the window.
Grief – The holidays can amplify feelings of loss. Missing loved ones or not feeling festive may lead to withdrawal or a desire to skip traditions—and that’s okay. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it shouldn’t come with guilt.

6 ways to help with holiday guilt

Guilt often crops up around family obligations and social expectations—especially when children are involved. It’s natural to want to avoid disappointing the people you love, but the pressure to create a “perfect” or magical holiday can quickly become overwhelming. The question is: is the guilt that comes with these decisions really worth it?

While guilt can serve a purpose—helping us act thoughtfully and consider others—it’s not always necessary. In many cases, it adds weight without value. What if you could let go of that uncomfortable feeling and feel at peace with what you have, the choices you make, and what you’re realistically able to do?

The steps below can help you release guilt and feel more confident and content with your holiday plans this year—

Set boundaries and say no – Sometimes, saying no is the kindest option—for yourself and others. Invited to three different events on New Years? It’s okay to decline. If the day would be spent rushing around rather than enjoying meaningful time together, it may not be worth the stress. Choosing one event and arranging to see others another time can help you protect your energy and actually enjoy the moment.
Avoid comparison – It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. As Theodore Roosevelt famously said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Constantly measuring yourself against others only steals your own happiness.
Give yourself time to rest – Rest is essential—especially as the year winds down and everyone starts feeling worn out. Think of the holidays like a marathon, not a sprint: plan ahead, take breaks, and don’t abandon your self-care routines. Scheduling downtime isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. And no, there’s absolutely no need to feel guilty about it. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Set realistic expectations – Guilt often springs up from unrealistic expectations. Letting go of perfection and making do with good enough helps place the holidays back in the real world, rather than in a fantasy where it is impossible to please everyone. No one is going to notice if you didn’t make a fourth appetiser for your Christmas party, so don’t exhaust yourself!
Have self-compassion – Practising self-compassion is essential. The holiday period can evoke a range of complex emotions, particularly when it comes to family and the desire to feel festive. Go easy on yourself! Making space for your feelings is better than suppressing them, only for them to resurface (usually at a terrible time) later on.
Build your own traditions – Sometimes we stick to traditions that no longer fit our lives—or feel more stressful than joyful. Creating your own traditions that are realistic and fun can take the pressure off. It gives you control over how and with whom you spend your time. Remember, meaningful traditions don’t have to be limited to the festive season. Want to host a celebratory dinner in January because the holidays are busy? Go for it—do what works for you!