Why men don’t ask for help, even when they need it

Do you find it difficult to ask for help or open up about your mental or emotional struggles? Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Even as mental health conversations become more common, many men still struggle to reach out.

Despite growing awareness, a quiet struggle continues: cultural expectations, stigma and fear of judgement often leave men feeling like they should manage everything on their own.¹ For many, admitting they’re struggling feels like a sign of weakness.

Sadly, research reflects this reality. Younger men, aged 18 to 25, are less likely to seek help compared to older men, and only 30% of young men feel comfortable talking to someone about their mental health.²

There is also a significant gender gap when it comes to treatment, with men being less likely to access psychological therapies than women. For example, only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are for men.³

While more men are beginning to seek support, many still struggle in silence. Understanding the reasons behind this can help break down these barriers –

Expectations of masculinity

Many men grow up with societal beliefs about what it means to be masculine, often associating strength and independence with their identity. These expectations can make it difficult for men to embrace their vulnerabilities and seek help when needed, as they feel doing so might be seen as a sign of weakness.⁴

Fear of judgment and stigma

While there is increased awareness around mental health, there is still a perceived stigma surrounding it. This can be especially pronounced for men, who may worry about being judged by peers, family, or colleagues if they admit to struggling. Worries of being seen as weak or inadequate can discourage men from reaching out for support, preventing them from accessing the help they need.⁵

Lack of confidence or limited emotional vocabulary

Some men struggle to identify and express their emotions, which can make opening up feel daunting. Without the confidence or language to explain how they’re feeling, many avoid reaching out altogether.⁶

Independence and self-reliance

A strong sense of independence can lead men to handle problems on their own without any external help, even when they may be overwhelmed. This self-reliance can become a barrier when it discourages seeking support during stressful times. Many men feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, or a failure to manage their own issues. This can then intensify feelings of isolation.⁷

Fear of disrupting relationships or facing repercussions

Some men worry that talking about their mental health struggles might strain their relationships or cause concern for friends and family. There is a fear of being misunderstood, dismissed, or even judged negatively, which can lead to a reluctance to share issues and feelings. Concerns about repercussions or their reputation can also prevent men from seeking support.⁸

Reaching out

If you’re struggling, support is available—and taking that first step can make all the difference.

In the United Kingdom, numerous mental health services and charities are dedicated to supporting men in need. Mind offers advice, support, and advocacy for those experiencing mental health issues, while the Samaritans give emotional support to anyone in distress.

Organisations such as CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) focus on preventing male suicide and promoting mental wellbeing among men. Movember continues to raise awareness about men’s mental health through fundraising and outreach.

The NHS also provides a range of mental health services, such as counselling and crisis support. These are accessible through local clinics and mental health trusts.

Reaching out may feel daunting, but it’s a powerful step toward getting the support you deserve. You don’t have to face challenges alone—connection is often the first step to relief.

Looking for ways to improve both your mental and physical wellbeing? Check out these 5 tips to transform your diet for better physical and mental health!

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Why men don’t ask for help, even when they need it

Expectations of masculinity

Fear of judgment and stigma

Lack of confidence or limited emotional vocabulary

Independence and self-reliance

Fear of disrupting relationships or facing repercussions

Reaching out

References

Questions? Talk to a Nutritional Therapist on live chat!

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